Nicola Moore
Professional but if you are experiencing covert financial abuse seek out a specialist in this. I sought to recoup my original unmatched contribution and recover some of the money I had lost in paying off my ex husband’s credit cards which the practice helped me to secure. However I felt very frustrated when my ex didn’t complete the D81 truthfully. My solicitor indicated that I should let it go as I already had ‘the lions share’ when in reality I only stood to claw back my own contribution plus a small portion of what I had lost to deception over the years. At the time this compounded my feelings that I was being unreasonable in beginning to stand up for myself after years of deception and being told I was being unreasonable when questioning anything financial within the marriage. My ex husband is very charming and had a lengthy phone conversation with my solicitor at one point for which I was billed £140. I have dyscalculia; I’m not great with numbers which is probably what made me vulnerable to financial abuse. The one thing I needed help with was completing the D81 form. Unfortunately the practice miscalculated the value of my NHS pension which over valued it significantly and created a lengthy process with the courts with consideration being given to my ex husband’s entitlement to something which doesn’t exist. Ironically it was I who spotted the miscalculation eventually. I have since found evidence of historical financial borrowing in my name, arranged without my knowledge and I am pursuing this with the lender so the fall out from being subjected to covert emotional and financial abuse for 20 years continues which makes it especially unfortunate that the financial remedy part of the divorce was so unnecessarily protracted and distressing, much to my ex husband’s delight. It was a damaging experience on top of everything. I guess it’s not something that all practices have expertise in and it was my error in hindsight for not seeking out one which does.